What is it waiting for? Waiting for conflict resolution. The conflict simmering under the surface that threatens to erupt. Not me ... but sitting next to me. Eating at the counter, making cupcakes in the kitchen, walking the dog down the street ... close. I want to pop it. I want it to erupt and be over. I want it to erupt to discover that it just plops instead of pops and then fades away into nothing.
I poke at it, gently. trying to find the edges without causing it to erupt. I'm not really a very patient person, although i have learned patience. It's an unrealiable patiene, where I appear to sit quietly but my insides are churning and the spring inside that is me is tightly wound. I want it over.
I play the scenarios over and over in my mind. One sits quietly, nods, agrees and disappears into the back. One becomes angry, bitter words escape, challenges, threats, accusations emerge in a torrent of sound and emotion. One sits as silent tears drop onto the flood. What to do, what to do? My insides churn, there is no good news, there will be no easy resolution. One of two will be unhappy. What do I do? Maybe if I do nothing the churning will drop back into the bottom of the boiling pot and wait for another day. Should I let it wait or should I push it to eruption now?
I don't know.
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