Wednesday's Waiting

What is it waiting for?  Waiting for conflict resolution.  The conflict simmering under the surface that threatens to erupt.  Not me ... but sitting next to me.  Eating at the counter, making cupcakes in the kitchen, walking the dog down the street ... close.  I want to pop it.  I want it to erupt and be over.  I want it to erupt to discover that it just plops instead of pops and then fades away into nothing.

I poke at it, gently. trying to find the edges without causing it to erupt.  I'm not really a very patient person, although i have learned patience.  It's an unrealiable patiene, where I appear to sit quietly but my insides are churning and the spring inside that is me is tightly wound.  I want it over.

I play the scenarios over and over in my mind.  One sits quietly, nods, agrees and disappears into the back.  One becomes angry, bitter words escape, challenges, threats, accusations emerge in a torrent of sound and emotion.  One sits as silent tears drop onto the flood.  What to do, what to do?  My insides churn, there is no good news, there will be no easy resolution.  One of two will be unhappy.  What do I do?   Maybe if I do nothing the churning will drop back into the bottom of the boiling pot and wait for another day.  Should I let it wait or should I push it to eruption now?

I don't know.

Slenderman Did It

I was introducted to the "Slender" game a couple of years ago, by my then 11 year old grandson who, along with his cousin, downloaded it, and "Kick the Buddy" onto my then new iPad.  I was going through the apps on my iPad when I noticed the games and, grandson at my elbow cautiously ensuring that I wouldn't delete the new games, pulled up the games to see what they were.

Okay, I didn't really like them but other than a vague feeling of, well, ickiness, couldn't find anything overtly objectionable.  So I, with reservations intact, allowed the games to stay.  When my iPad disappeared a couple of months later, and then reappeared without the games, I was happier.  So today, in the news, in the aftermath of the horrible shooting at Cici's Pizza of two Metro police officers, I'm reading that the male suspect of the 'Bonnie and Clyde' couple type of murderers liked to dress up as Slenderman.

I knew it sounded familiar, so I googled it and yep, it was the same shadowy, ominous, slinky, faceless figure from the "Slender" game and still icky.  So google brings me more information, more than I wanted.  An attempted stabbing of a mother by her daughter who was wearing a hood and white mask in Cincinnati, and more unconsciounable, a group of  12-year-old Wisconsin girls who stabbed their friend 19 times in honor of, you guessed it, slenderman.

So is this hooded, shadowy figure from a game (where his part is no more violent than abduction) guilty of inspiring this kind of violence, or it is just a way to point a finger away from those who find such violence exciting.  Reminiscent of the anti-Dungeons and Dragons sentiment that playing the role-playing games would incite people to become Satanists.  Or the concern that violent video games would incite kids to perform violent acts.  I tend to think that maybe viewing violence dehumanizes the victims and, for some, make it exciting enough to consider trying it out themselves.  Then once the reality of what has been done sets in, they can turn to the boogeyman.

Kind of a "The boogeyman made me do it."  I used to believe that the boogeyman didn't exist.  Now, I'm not so sure.

Poetry Month Musings ... Week Three (kind of)

Day 17 – Katrina … Acrostic

 Kissed by the sun

And sought by the moon
Timeless and ageless
Replete with swoons
Ideological logical
Not
A more loyal friend has never been sought
 

Day 18 … Dirge

The sea sifts swiftly

Silently
Stoically
Through the remains of the wastrel waif

She plummets through wild

Wailing
Whitecaps
Undisturbed by their ferocious frenzy

Picking through scattered remains

Fossil
Footprints
Announce their fate … only

Relics

Remain

Day 19  …  Epigram

Beware the sound protagonist

He rarely is antagonist

Day 20 … Gnomic Verse

Last hired
First fired
The saddest words it’s true

My day was gladdest yellow

And now I’m only blue

Waste not

Want not
Comes very close behind

I threw away leftover stew

And now I’ve only wine

 The early bird

Gets the worm
And I slept in too late

My job is gone

My lunch is gone
My bed is out the gate

He who laughs last

Laughs best, it’s true

I woke up from my nightmare

My sunny sky is blue
 

Day 21 … The Circle --- Concrete Poetry

One

           Around

        Two around

  Three times or four

 Minus one just for fun

      And soon there’s

Nothing

  More

 

Day 22 … Heart

It thrums through my body

Like a drum
You’re not home yet
 

It pounds through my veins

Like bolts into steel
The doorbell rings
 

It abandons my bones

Leaving water for ice
An unfamiliar face

It recaptures my senses

Translating words into meaning
She’s fine

What does it do?

What does it not?

but not in a row

I have been reminded, recently, of a joke about a 24-hour convenience store that was closed ... the question ... why are you closing, it says 24-hours! the answer ... but not in a row. we think horizontally ... from memory, automatically. We traverse sharp corners, but when the road curves we often just cannot quite navigate the changes. Consider, the rule ... follow directions to the letter. Walk down two blocks, turn right, walk to the end of the block and enter the building on the left. At the end of two blocks if you turn right you would walk into a brick wall. If you continue walking five feet you would find a side street. Can you find the side street? Maybe not. Why not? Memorization does not require contemplation. Think about it.

Road Cutting

That's what I call it anyway. I'm driving along, plenty of room behind me for a vehicle to slip into my lane when, out of nowhere a driver pulls up alongside, and zips in between me and the car in front of me, just barely enough room. Damn! Why was that necessary? Was the risk of an accident worth the 1/10th of a second advantage? If you put your blinker on I would have even backed off so you could get in front of me. It feels like 'king of the hill' to me and I hated that game in elementary school ... no one won. And if you cause an accident, no one wins here either!

Pissing Contest

I could have participated ... it was an outright challenge. I, doing my job; he, taking over. I could have growled, asserted my little authority, but I withdrew, some dignity still intact. The important thing is that someone got the help they needed. The important thing is there was no conflict. The important thing is he jumped in to help. The important thing is quiet fell. The best thing is, it became a non-contest to me. Thanks!

Election Rant

Stop calling me! I know who I'm voting for, I've already decided. I know that the only people running for office are politicians and I already have a preconceived notion of the degree of verity of politicians ... you can probably guess what that is. Don't call me. I know you want me to vote for you, and that you'll probably tell me whatever you think I'll believe in order to get my vote.

You're not going to tell me what you really think of your opponent; probably. You want me to infer that you are the better candidate and will provide any and all information that will further that goal. Don't call me to trash your opponent .... I'm not stupid. If, for some possibly unknown to you reason, I am looking for a candidate with integrity, who is more interested in the good of their constituants than in furthering their own career, you have already lost my vote.

Quit calling. You are only displaying your desperation and if you're desperate now, what are you going to be next year when things have not improved? Beyond desperation is not a good place to be, as many Americans can already attest.

Stop, I've already voted and it wasn't for you.